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After all, if she reacted like that in front of everyone else and ruined your moment and then persisted in going on about it how long would it be before she starts making comments to DS about how 'no one' liked his name and 'everyone' wanted him to be a girl - because if she can't keep that in now then she won't be able to keep it in in future.
Yeah, I think she just earned herself a “very important job” next time... . I think your assessment of other people's reactions is accurate: that everyone was happy for you and nobody was disappointed. We want kids, but not just right now, and she just think we are being ridiculous. As for MIL, talk to your husband so you know where he stands and that you're both on the same page that his mom's behavior is highly inappropriate and she's being a selfish twat about the whole thing.
So now, next baby JNM is fully planning to be in the room because JYMIL was last time. First of all, not accurate??? Usually light skin, buff or skinny.
It needs sleep to heal. this is a very compassionate response, but i would be careful that MIL doesn't use a meeting like this to try to justify any number of reasons that OP's baby name won't do, it must be the one MIL had in mind. Call your mom out each and every time she excludes your wife. At the end of the day, regardless of whether someone is a justno or justyes, we all need to be able to say No and set boundaries and have those boundaries be respected. My DH had ‘issues’ with his family that I didn’t fully understand when we were first married.
I had not thought of it that way before, I did warn my wife when we first met that she had to watch her. Full Rules | Acronym Index | Flair Guide| Report PM Trolls, Resources: In Crisis?
You need to support your wife full stop. You need to assert yourself more, because your mother is not I repeat, not entitled to be at your birth, just because your MIL was present at this one, fair is not necessarily equal in this case. If she can't do that, contact needs to be very limited, not just for your wife but for your kids. To my own parents??
Aka respect is mutually earned. She is good with two of our kids but struggles to connect with the other one. I'm botinlaw. Your mother doesn't have to love your wife, but she does have to be civil and treat her with respect. Especially the ones on covert narcissism and the roles of the children. If she brings something over without including your wife, pack it up and tell her to take it back. Maybe you can arrange for her to watch LO if there’s a new baby, but she wouldn’t be at the hospital again as she feels the need to give a play-by-play to your mother. Maybe you can take her for coffee and ask why she had such a visceral reaction to the name. Not as much as DW does, maybe, but your loss was real too.
Seriously what does she think telling you this will do? Due to both of our families (with the exception of MIL and Fil) being 800+ miles away, I know that as soon as news breaks that I’m at the hospital all hell is going to break loose. You two were at the hospital, but as far as anyone else knew, could have just been at home on the couch. This. Wow, so much projection coming from your MIL. I’m glad everything’s worked out in the end!
| For help managing your subscriptions, click here. I almost dropped a bunch of friends--along with her--because of her lying that other people were agreeing with her and me feeling so hurt that my friends would gossip behind my back like that without addressing things with me. Not saying No when you want to is people pleasing, plain and simple. No one should be pushing a person about to give birth into anything, period. Ooooh no OP grab the scissors you need to do a little snipsnip to please all the non existent people who are upset your child has a peen. I help people follow your posts! Maybe just ask her if it bothers her. MIL is suddenly overcome with guilt that my mom will find out that she was in the delivery room (how would she know?!?) I have no problem standing up to her and have done so many times. So I told MIL and DH to keep the hospital stay to themselves at least until I’m in active labor, or better yet until it’s over. I mean please I still have time. Instead I let his family bulldoze their way into our lives and attempt to entrap us into their toxic ways. If your only advice is to jump straight to NC or divorce, your comment may be subject to removal at moderator discretion. You have enabled your mom's disrespect for so long, it's been normalized. A weird comment from a stroke survivor. Of course you loved and mourn your MIL. I’m just so frustrated. If she were to say something like this to MIL, then she can ruin a good relationship between the two of them. If she says you are overreacting, tell her that it seems that way because you under-reacted for so long and things have to change. Doesn't work like that. Her claiming that everyone was disappointed reminds me a lot of a friend I had who would never own her opinions and would say things like, "Everyone says," or "I talked to lots of people.
She told me no no, your parents faces fell and the party was sad and down after the boy announcement. I also think after a traumatic event that victims should be provided with a trained crisis person. I’d bet you can complain about your mom without your wife thinking “at least you have your mom.” Is your mom has been unkind to your wife, she’ll likely see the two situations as very distinct. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. If she doesn't respect your boundaries, she doesn't get to be apart of the baby's life. Don't fall for her nice act going forward. Lots and lots of people and they all agree with me," or "So-and-so wants things a certain way" When in reality she might have talked to one or two other people who may or may not have agreed with her, or no one at all and was just saying that to pressure me to doing what she wants while making it seem like it's not her, it's other people. Oh OK, I thought a bitch who wasn’t having a baby said something.” But then again, I’m mean like that.
And she never was JY. I feel like your MIL and DH did you a huge disservice by pressuring you. Who wants to see someone pushing out a baby!?! A place to get support and advice dealing with mean, nasty, toxic, and / or abusive MILs and moms. I will challenge my mothers behaviour when I see it, but it's mostly little things that if you called them out they seem like misunderstandings but I know they hurt my wife. I cant suddenly change my childs gender and you seem to want to convince me that my entire family is upset about my child when its not something i can just change on a whim regardless of who is upset and how upset they are. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. And you're reminded of it every time you have to have anything to do with your JNM. You did not have a mom, you had an egg donor.
She’s extremely narcissistic in a “feel bad for me, I’m so excluded from everything” way (not in regards to my relationship with MIL particularly, she acts like this in her whole life.) I could never go no contact because she is virtually the only family either of us have, and she is very close to my daughter and one of my sons. Even if she was right (which i trust your judgement more than her manipulation any day. The last thing I want is all the stress she brings in the delivery room, so I’m cool with this. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. My prescription for you, mama, is info diet for eternity and grey rocking like a Jedi master.
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